Global Nuisance Elimination Authority. Est. 2026. One button, zero actual elimination.
The Global Nuisance Elimination Authority was founded to press one button very seriously and record, each time, exactly what was eliminated. So far: no treaties, no governments, and no nuisances of any real consequence.
Each launch runs the full five-second countdown required by Authority protocol, followed by a certified elimination event. Targets are selected at random from a list the Authority is not proud of, but stands fully behind.
Collateral damage has never been recorded above zero percent. The Authority would like this to continue.
Every confirmed launch raises the Authority's official panic classification by one tier, from All Clear through several stages of escalating overreaction, ending at Beyond Comprehension. No tier has ever been downgraded, mostly because nobody has asked.
It doesn't, particularly. Nothing was ever actually at risk. But there is something satisfying about a big red button, a very loud siren, and a countdown that ends in something genuinely, reliably harmless.